disabling denial



what would be all the worst case scenarios. the fears i had after the attack. how did i survive. i just coped. i started school as a project to throw myself into and problem solve instead of feeling my feelings and accepting the new normal. i was trying to get back to the old normal. ego and pride and identity. sense of competence and accomplishment and satisfaction. reading and information and learning and writing and academics. had all lost its luster. the worst thing which ended up coming true. worst would be if this terrible thing happened to me. if this tragedy was real and not a dream. that it would ruin my life. that i would never be able to have a good life if something like this assault and injury actually happened. that it would mean i would have medical problems. health problems. thinking problems. that i…

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